So If you are an avid follower of the eventful life of Catrin Wright, you may have be disappointed to see that I haven't updated this site for a whole year.
You may be wondering WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? (me acting as though I have a massive following haha! I'll be lucky if anybody actually reads this). Well I've got to be honest, when I posted the first/most recent blog entry I was fibbing not only to myself but to you my online creepers as well. I was very low and very lost.
My biggest critic has/always will be myself, I knock myself all the time and working with one particular colleague at the REP had made me really question my artistic abilities & I couldn't understand why on earth I was wanting to purse a career in this industry. A few days after writing that post I had hit rock bottom. I hated myself and didn't know what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be. I became a recluse, reluctantly leaving my home when I had to and had boxed all the things that I had previously to forget that part of my life.
It didn't take long before I decided to stop the negative thinking and to look forward into the future. I decided to step away from the art scene for a while and focus on the things I put to the back burner. Taking one small goal at a time.
Passing my driving test
My first was passing my driving test and getting some wheels. Now to ordinary people, this would not seem that daunting, but for me was a major hurdle. I had been learning for years, but due to work commitments/lack of funds I had been unable to achieve it. However the bigger thing for me was the difficulty surrounding where the test was taking place. The test centre was very near the place where my Dad had committed suicide. So you can imagine the emotions that surrounded that place. When I started to learn again, I couldn't go a lesson without having a panic attack. At the time I though I was crazy, but in hindsight I realised the reasons why.
Thankfully I managed to calm my anxieties and life my head up high, passing my test 1st time which I was ecstatic about.
I am now a new hazard for an pedestrian/other road user in my little renault clio.
Starting at Citizens Advice
Around about the same time I began training with Citizens Advice after gaining a placement with Jobs Growth Wales. It was so different to anything that I have done before, but found it is so rewarding. I would say I have become a lot more angry with the world, as it's opened my mind to all the inequality and hardship people have to face. But It has helped me to realise that no one is perfect and everyone had their issues. When I started those who knew me where concerned that this would make my anxieties worse. However it's made me realise that everyone comes with baggage and to be thankful of everyday. I am now working as a caseworker and have had my contract extended to 2018. I love meeting and learning about people so as you can imagine this job suits me well.
My creative work
After working so intensively in the REP I did not want to do anything art wise for a long time. However gradually I've started getting my enthusiasm back. I started with drawing, in sketchbooks & on bits of scrap paper so I could start enjoying it again. This moved to doing small creative projects such as making bunting, a skull mask for a short film & lots of felt making.
However over the last few weeks I have made more progress by getting out all my old pieces that I have kept which were in storage. It's helped me to realise how far I've come. Yesterday I ran my first creative workshop with a group of older people in my local community centre. We made felt bracelets and it went fabulously well!
I don't think I have every been so happy, for the first time I am actually starting to like myself. I walk with my head held high. Although I am not where I thought I would be, I much happier than I ever believed I could be. :)
My Plans for the future
Now this is where things start to get more interesting. I have decided to combine my love of creativity & helping others improve there lives by training/work as an art therapist. I am currently looking at places to study & save the money needed for the course. My aim is to be starting in 2018 when there I they introduce postgraduate loans for welsh students. This will give me time to become even more fabulous than I am already.
As you can see I'm excitedly looking into the future for all the new and exciting possibilities of whats to come. Watch this space :)
P.S. sorry for all babbling on...